Lupin III: The Funeral of Jigen Daisuke by JT and Leia

[thedarlingone]

The Funeral of Jigen Daisuke (14528 words) by camshaft22, thedarlingone
Chapters: 3/3
Fandom: Lupin III
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Jigen Daisuke & Arsène Lupin III, Ishikawa Goemon XIII & Jigen Daisuke & Arsène Lupin III, Jigen Daisuke & Mine Fujiko, Yatagarasu Gorou & Zenigata Kouichi, Ishikawa Goemon XIII & Mine Fujiko
Characters: Arsène Lupin III, Jigen Daisuke, Ishikawa Goemon XIII, Mine Fujiko, Zenigata Kouichi, Yatagarasu Gorou
Additional Tags: Fake Character Death, technically jigen himself isn't even fake dead, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, (for Goemon), Mentor & Protégé
Series: Part 2 of Silence
Summary:

In which Jigen has an ICPO funeral, Lupin is incorrigibly Lupin, and Yata is a good kid. Sequel to "The Silence of Ishikawa Goemon XIII".

Chapter 1

Jigen took a good look at the target, then closed his eyes and drew his revolver. He fired all six shots as fast as possible before opening his eyes again.

Not bad. All six bullet holes were tightly clustered in the bullseye, overlapping, though not showing as just one hole in the exact center like he could do with his eyes open. He tipped the empty brass out of the cylinder and reloaded, then changed his stance and fired again.

It was good to get back to the basics like this. He hadn't really had time for practice during Goemon's slow recovery from his recent imprisonment. The psychological torture Goemon had undergone had left him unable to be around Lupin for a long time, and his shyness with women—even Fujiko, his closest female friend—had made Jigen his main caregiver by default. But now Goemon was feeling much better, and Jigen could afford a little time to himself.

"Bravo, bravo!" Lupin said, clapping. Jigen hadn't heard him approach, but that was Lupin for you.

Jigen glanced over with a smile that was mostly fond and only slightly annoyed from habit. "What do you want," he grumbled affectionately.

Lupin clasped his hands and looked innocent. "What, I can't just come out here to watch a master at his craft?"

"I can't tell if you're buttering me up or just trying to get smacked," Jigen teased, reloading again. "Fine, watch then, if I'm so damn entertaining." He turned his back to the target and fired again, aiming backwards under his arm without looking.

"Ji-ji," Lupin said a little more quietly and seriously, coming closer with his hands in his pockets. "How are you holding up?"

Jigen shrugged, not sure why he was being asked. "I'm fine. Why, is something wrong?"

"I wouldn't say wrong, no," Lupin said. He pulled out a cigarette and put it in his mouth, unlit. Jigen took out his lighter left-handed and lit the cigarette for Lupin. Lupin took a long puff and watched the smoke swirl upward. "I just wondered how my favorite gunman is doing. You've been through a lot the last few months, Jigen."

Jigen blinked. He hadn't really thought about it. Sure, he'd been on Goemon's trail for a month before even getting a lead, and after the rescue he'd been focused on taking care of his friend. Goemon's captors had kept the samurai drugged, motionless, and barely fed, as well as trying to break his mind, so his recovery had been... rough.

"I'm not sure," Jigen said slowly. He pulled out a cigarette as well and leaned in to light it from Lupin's. Smoking and shooting didn't usually go together for him, but if he was trying to do feelings, he needed a smoke.

He honestly wasn't sure how he felt. As part of being a sniper, he'd long ago trained himself to ignore his physical needs for as long as the job took, and sometimes longer. He didn't always notice when he needed to eat or piss or even jerk off until it made itself really insistent. As for his emotions... well. He could put off dealing with emotions basically forever, until he couldn't and they boiled over on him.

Which was why Lupin checked in on him sometimes like this. Somebody needed to, because it simply wouldn't occur to Jigen to check on himself before things got bad. It was just one of those little things they did for each other, like Jigen shoving food at Lupin when he was being a distractible genius again.

"It's been a grind," he said, slowly, thinking, trying to access the feelings he usually kept locked away so tightly he didn't even know they were there. "I don't... really know how to be any other way than fine about it. It's over, he's alive, he's getting better, that's all there is to it. But it..." He took a long thoughtful drag on his cigarette, frowning at the empty sky past his hat brim. "It was a lot."

Lupin nodded. “I agree,” he said, blowing smoke rings. “Thank you for doing it. You don’t have to be just fine anymore, though. You brought him back.”

"Yeah," Jigen said simply. How would he feel, if he wasn't fine? "I mean... he would've done it for me. So would you. Might have to, next time. It's just how things are." Their lives didn't really allow leisure for not being fine. They had to keep going. Be ready for the next unexpected crisis.

“He’s healing, we’re well hidden… relax,” Lupin said, grinning at him. “Pops is being Pops, yeah, but not here. We’re doing well.”

"Pops did good," Jigen said. "I couldn't have done it without him." He felt kind of... bittersweet, about that. Working together with Zenigata for a brief moment to find out where Goemon was being held—it had been good. But the burnout he'd felt from his long search, the creeping fear that he was too late? Those had been pushed aside by the excitement of Goemon's rescue, but they still lived in his bones. And he couldn't even treat Zenigata to a drink for pulling a success out of Jigen's failures.

Yeah, he might... he might be a little bit not fine. Maybe.

"I mean, he's here, right?" he mused, meaning Goemon. "We saved him. We won. But..." Shit. It had been so close. Jigen had burned through every favor and underworld contact he had, and threatened his way into using a few he didn't have—for nothing. If it hadn't been for Zenigata's kindness and his junior officer Yata's software coding skill, Jigen would have failed Goemon completely. He... he didn't know what to do with the empty feeling in his chest that that thought gave him.

“He’s here. Sleeping,” Lupin confirmed. He closed the distance between them, pulling Jigen close in a hug. “You did so much. Zenigata helped, yes. But you brought him home. I’m so glad you’re both here,” Lupin admitted. “I value you. Both of you. I didn’t want to face this life without either of you.”

Wow. Lupin had been a lot more rattled than he let on. Jigen tucked away his gun and hugged Lupin tight, settling his chin comfortably over Lupin's shoulder. "I'd miss him," he said softly.

“Me too,” Lupin agreed. “But you went and got him.”

Yeah. Jigen had done most of the heavy lifting, rescuing Goemon and then tending him through withdrawal and impatience and slow tedious recovery, feeding him and sleeping next to him and comforting him after nightmares. Fujiko had helped as best she could, and Jigen was honestly grateful for the little respite she'd been able to give him, but... "I don't feel like I did enough," he muttered. He wasn't sure what would ever be enough. He wanted... he wanted to have been better, dammit—to have found Goemon earlier or noticed he was gone or been the one to track him down, or done anything more than just... just be the guy with the gun, who did what a guy with a gun could do.

Maybe that was why he'd put so much effort into caring for Goemon since his return. Probably. He felt like he'd been so useless. Like he owed Goemon for all the ways he'd failed to save him.

“You did enough,” Lupin told him, scritching his hair soothingly along the back of his head, under his hat. “You’re doing enough.”

Jigen considered that idea for a moment. It was nice of Lupin to say, but it didn't feel like it applied to him. Just an abstract concept somewhere over there.

Jigen's cigarette burned down to the filter, and he spat it out. "You want to shoot a few rounds with me?" he asked. He'd missed Lupin. They'd been working apart ever since Lupin realized Goemon was missing and set Jigen on his trail, months ago. With Jigen caring for Goemon full-time after his rescue, and Goemon traumatized by remembered hallucinations of Lupin, they hadn't even been able to spend a lot of time in the same room lately. It... it might be good to get back in sync with his partner, to remind himself what made them a good team.

“I definitely would,” Lupin said, his Walther ready. His cigarette butt was already elsewhere. He smiled at Jigen, eyes full of excitement.

Jigen drew his own gun, quickly checked that it was loaded, and flicked the cylinder shut again. "What are we thinking, just cut around the edge of the target for starters?"

Lupin shrugged. “Let’s go around the edge to begin. I had this idea for a gadget that looks amazing but likely won’t be useful. We can play around with techniques once we’ve warmed up.”

Jigen laughed and ruffled his hair. "That's most of your ideas, isn't it?" he teased.

“Hey!” Lupin blustered. “All my ideas are excellent and always work!”

"If you say so," Jigen said, grinning. He aimed at the target and fired at the outer ring, seeing another bullet hole appear next to his own at almost the same instant. He adjusted his aim to continue the chain and fired again.

It was a balm of comfort, having Lupin at his side. Lupin was chattering away about something he was planning and Jigen didn’t really have to even listen. It would come up again if it mattered. This was about reconnecting as partners.

When they ran out of bullets, Jigen sat down on a handy rock and took out another cigarette. Lupin leaned in to light it for him, then sat down cross-legged on the ground next to him, leaning against Jigen's knee.

"Good time?" Jigen asked, enjoying the smoke and the closeness. Damn, he'd needed this.

“I always have a good time with you, Jigen-chan,” Lupin told him. “What’s been happening anyway? I’ve been busy elsewhere.”

"I noticed," Jigen said, smiling a bit. "Eh, I mean, pretty much just getting Goemon to relax and heal. Being there with him. He's really frustrated that it's taking so long, poor guy."

“Out of all of us, Goemon has never been good at relaxation,” Lupin agreed. “How’s he coming with the withdrawal?”

"Slow," Jigen said. "He's over a lot of the worst physical effects of the drugs, but..." He sighed. "They really did a number on him, Lupin. It's been bad. The nightmares and hallucinations especially." He tugged his hat down a bit further over his eyes, needing privacy. "Sometimes I wonder if we should have brought a professional in to help. I'm doing my best for him, but I... I'm just a guy."

Lupin turned and laid his arms across Jigen’s thigh, looking up at him. Concern was in every feature. “I thought of that but… I didn’t want to add undue stress. Maybe I should have done it anyway. But Goemon is… He’s very much himself, and we adore him for it, but this is a huge thing for you and Fujiko-chan to have to handle. Is there anything that might be better?”

Jigen shrugged awkwardly. "I honestly don't know. It'd have to be someone absolutely trustworthy—it ain't worth seeing him get fucked up worse just so I can get a night's sleep." He hadn't meant to let that slip out, but he kept talking. "I don't know if we know of anybody like that. He has trouble even letting Fujiko get too close." A wry smile tugged at his lips. "Never thought I'd say it, but she's been great, man. I wouldn't be holding it together if it wasn't for her taking over when she can."

Lupin nodded and sighed. “I’m glad she’s here and it’s working,” he told him. “I did a little looking and anyone I could bring in might do just that. Make it worse,” Lupin admitted. “It probably won't help, but there will be time to rest later. I promise. I’m doing what I can. We’re good on money and supplies, so there's no hurry to get back to work. Is..." He waved one hand expressively, "...this whole thing going to cause problems later?”

Jigen blinked. "Like between me and Goemon?" He honestly hadn't thought that far ahead yet. "Um. I don't... I don't think so?" He frowned, taking a moment to check in with himself—imagining the future when Goemon was recovered, looking for any lingering resentment in his feelings, any need to withdraw into himself and sulk. "I might... I should probably have some time to rest once he's well," he admitted. He could see himself getting bitter and burned out if he tried to keep up with a healthy Goemon, the way he felt right now. "But as long as we don't kick back into gear too early, nah, I don't think I'll have a problem. He'd do the same for me anytime. Might have to, someday, the way our lives go. Y'know?"

Lupin nodded. “You’ll have it. I need you both and this is a lot. I’d help if I could,” he said with a wry look. “But I’m glad. You’re my partner, Jigen. You have to stick with your partner, right?”

Jigen ruffled Lupin's soft, short hair with one hand. "I know you would," he said. "I... Thanks for staying out of it, man. He'd be a lot worse if you were around."

“Which, honestly, is the real tragedy here. I’m a delight,” Lupin said, mischief in his eyes. “You’ll be happy to know that the lady prisoner you brought me gave me all sorts of useful info.”

"That's good," Jigen agreed. "I'm glad that worked out. She was a royal pain in the ass when I was looking for Goemon in the complex."

“I could definitely see it,” Lupin said. “Their info was lacking when it came to you and me, but that was their stupidity.”

"Yup," Jigen agreed. "We got lucky there. If they'd put half as much work into keeping me out as they did keeping Goemon in... well, there might have been trouble."

“Can’t say I’m sorry though,” Lupin said with a smirk. “It was all so stupid. Such a lack of imagination.”

Ah, Lupin. Jigen's hand drifted down to rest on his partner's shoulder. "I really missed you, man. It's good to be home."

"I'm really glad you are," Lupin told him. "Really glad."

---

Several weeks later:

Lupin stared down his opponent, holding his cards and sure—so very sure he was going to win. He would never be defeated! Lupin reached out and took the card with a gentle flick and turned it, only to see his greatest nemesis! Old Maid!

Goemon started laughing at him and inwardly Lupin brightened. Things were better since their discussion on the roof, and improving. But this was unfair! "How are you still doing this?" he demanded.

Goemon looked smug. "That is for me to know and for you to find out," he said with dignity.

Lupin made a face. He had even marked the cards! How the hell was Goemon doing this? "You should tell me. I could use it."

"Are you admitting I have defeated you?" Goemon asked, not even trying to be dignified. If Lupin wasn’t so pissed, he’d be thrilled.

"Never! I am never defeated!" Lupin declared. "I just need to look at something," he said, putting down his cards. "We'll play again some other time."

There was a soft snort from under Jigen's hat where he was apparently dozing on the couch.

Lupin pulled out his phone while Goemon gave him a fierce smirk. Lupin was secretly pleased Goemon was doing so much better, but it did sting to know he was still losing. But never defeated! He hummed to himself, looking at a few things he’d managed to get a hold of while doing something nefarious online, and paused for a moment. Was this real?! Lupin started giggling and covered his mouth, scrolling through the memos. “I can’t believe it!”

Jigen sat up partway, pushing his hat back slightly. "What's gotten into you?"

"They're having a funeral for you!" Lupin said, delighted. "Or at least your alias!"

"My... which one? Who?" Jigen asked, sitting up a little further and moving his hat to its usual angle.

"Houji Tomasu," Lupin said, giving the name in the Japanese order, family name first, as he often did when they were in Japan like now. "You were so brave in taking down that cult!"

"Shit," Jigen said. "My ICPO alias? From when I was looking for the cult that snatched Goemon... shit. Pops must have run his mouth. Didn't want me getting in trouble, I guess." He chuckled. "Jeez, Pops, it's fine, nobody cares if my aliases go AWOL." He got off the sofa and came over to lean on Lupin's shoulder, reaching out to scroll back up through the article on Lupin's phone. "A hero's funeral... full honors... man, this is just weird."

"Apparently, someone does care," Goemon said.

"We have to attend," Lupin told them. "I ask for so very little." He had to be there! This was amazing!

"You don't get to ruin my funeral, Lupin," Jigen grumbled teasingly.

Lupin gasped in shock. "How dare you suggest that! I would absolutely never!"

"As soon as Pops sees you it's all over," Jigen pointed out. He was still draped over Lupin's shoulder. "We'd all have to be disguised. Really well disguised. He can practically smell you."

"Oh, absolutely!" Lupin agreed eagerly. "He does love my cologne. It's so cute! But yes, disguises. Full disguises. He'll know, but if we make enough of a scene, he won't be able to do anything," Lupin said, delighted.

"Enough of a scene?" Jigen asked very dubiously.

"As the grieving family, of course! He won't arrest us if he has pressure not to fuck up his part!"

Jigen grimaced. "I... I don't like it, man. Feels... disrespectful somehow. Even though Houji wasn't a real person."

Goemon frowned, looking shy for a moment. "I respect your feelings on this matter, but would you be angry if I were to go?"

Jigen tilted his head. "Not so much angry. Confused, maybe. Why would you want to?" He hooked one elbow around Lupin's neck and squeezed lightly. Lupin snuggled closer to him. "I know why this asshole wants to. He has to be the center of attention."

"I wish to... honor the body, even though there isn't one. While there is nothing to cleanse, I could stand vigil for Houji-san," Goemon said.

"Honoring his sacrifice," Jigen said, slowly, thoughtfully. "What he... did for you? Even though he's just me?"

"In a way, he died due to me," Goemon said. "It would be shameful if I allowed this to pass without recognition."

"I... I kinda get that, I guess," Jigen said, nodding slowly. "I wouldn't be offended. You thinking about going alone, or did you want me to come with you?"

"I would go alone, since this makes you feel uncomfortable. This is a time of respect, not strife," Goemon remarked, giving Lupin a pointed look.

Lupin stuck his tongue out at Goemon. "Why does Goemon get to go but I don't?" he pouted. "I can be respectful. I'll be so very respectful!"

"Yeah, right," Jigen said. He let go of Lupin's neck and wandered back to the sofa, sitting down on the arm. "Look, man, I... it ain't that I don't want you there. I just..." He took off his hat and scrubbed his hand through his hair. "I don't know how to say this, okay? It's just... you, you've had so many damn funerals. And I cry my guts out every time." He shook his head slightly, staring at nothing, remembering. "Would it kill you to, you know, show a little...?" He gestured helplessly, unable to find the words he needed.

Lupin stood up and followed Jigen over to the sofa. He put his hands on Jigen's thighs and leaned in close, almost brushing Jigen's nose with his own. "Jigen. Ji-ji. Jigen-chan," he said. "You're right here, safe and sound. That's the only reason I'm playing games with Pops." He tilted his head quizzically. "Is it really bothering you, Ji-ji?"

Jigen moved his head aside and rested his forehead on Lupin's shoulder, setting his hat aside and clasping his hands behind Lupin's waist. "Kind of?" he mumbled. "I... it... I mean..." He sighed. "You always gotta make everything such a spectacle. It's... it's making me feel like..." His voice trailed off into a frustrated little growl.

"If I may?" Goemon asked solemnly. "I believe I understand."

Jigen shrugged. "Sure, go for it. Ain't like you can make less sense than I am right now."

"Thank you," Goemon said. "If you were truly gone, Jigen, I do not believe Lupin would be heedless of the great loss we would both have suffered. He would utterly destroy all those who took you from us, just as he has destroyed those who kidnapped me." He came over to stand by the sofa as well and laid his hand on Jigen's still-uncovered hair. "You meant no disrespect, did you, Lupin? You merely wish to celebrate Jigen's triumphant return by bringing things back to normal."

Lupin shook his head, agreeing. “No, no, no disrespect at all. Jigen, you’re my partner,” he said. “I meant what I said a few weeks ago. You have to stick with your partner." He shifted his balance and hugged Jigen's face to his chest. "I do make a spectacle, yeah, because that’s me. That’s who I am. But we can just stay here. Goemon can go and I’ll find something else to do.” He'd be disappointed, yes, but he really didn't want to hurt his Jigen-chan's feelings. He could let Jigen have this.

"Thanks," Jigen said, muffled. "I mean, I might... I need some time to think about it, okay? But I'd like to say thank you to Pops and his baby bird. Might drop by. For a bit. I don't know yet."

"Let me know soon, ok?" Lupin told him, patting his back.

"Yeah," Jigen said. He let Lupin cuddle him for a moment longer, then pulled back slightly and put his hat on again. "When did they say it was, two weeks out?"

"Yes. They're still pulling everything together and trying to contact the family," Lupin said. "There's been some discussion about what should be done."

Jigen sighed deeply. "Well, he didn't have any other family. Should we contact them and let them know... something?"

"I can," Lupin told him. "I'll say we're trying to get in touch with everyone still. We'll update them when we know who in the family will be attending. Okay?"

Jigen nodded. "Yeah, that works," he said. "Thanks, Lupin."

Lupin smiled at him and pulled away with a pat on Jigen's cheek. "Goemon should go get dinner. Tell him what you want."

"Bossy, bossy," Jigen said, laughing. "Hey, Goemon, how does katsudon sound?"

“Lupin must do what Lupin does, it’s true.” Goemon smirked and held up Lupin's wallet. Wait, he hadn't even felt that! Was he losing his touch? "I think katsudon would be nice," Goemon said, then turned and walked away with a laugh.

Lupin settled down on the couch beside his partner and friend.

Jigen cackled and looped his arm sideways around Lupin's shoulders, watching Goemon leave. Lupin couldn't help but keep smiling. It was good to see Goemon doing so well.

Chapter 2

"So I was thinking," Lupin said from the depths of the walk-in disguise closet in his bedroom. "Goemon-chan, if you go to the funeral in your formal kimono, you'll have to wear a full face mask or everybody'll know it's you. But if you're willing to wear a Western suit, we can get away with maybe a ponytail and some glasses. Your choice."

Jigen glanced at Goemon from under his hat. Jigen was lounging on Lupin's big bed, Goemon sitting on it primly with his legs crossed as usual.

“I will wear a Western suit,” Goemon said with a scowl. “I would rather not have much on my face.”

Jigen reached up and patted Goemon's shoulder, offering a little bit of silent comfort. He was doing really well, but Jigen was still sticking close by, especially any time Lupin and Goemon were together. Just... just in case.

"How about we start with a shirt?" Jigen suggested. "I think I have a couple silk ones in there that'll fit you. You can try them on, make sure nothing binds around your shoulders or restricts your swordwork too much. It's not gonna be as loose as your usual kit, obviously, but the silk should feel familiar, anyway."

Goemon nodded with a slight smile. “I would appreciate that,” he said, getting to his feet, putting Zantetsuken in reach, and pulling off his top.

"I don't suppose I could get a little help fetching and carrying all this stuff," Lupin mock-grumbled, bringing out a few silk shirts in different colors. He laid them on the bed, grinning.

"Nope," Jigen agreed, wiggling one foot back and forth in the air.

“Thank you for your hard work,” Goemon told him, bowing.

Lupin bowed back automatically then glared. “You’re mocking me,” he said.

“Just a small amount,” Goemon replied, picking up one of the shirts and putting it on. It was a nice deep black color.

"You know you love it," Jigen told Lupin. "Here, Goemon, I'll help you button the cuffs. They're a pain in the ass if you're not used to them." He scooted up a bit on the pillows.

“Thank you,” Goemon said, offering his wrists. He leaned close to watch. “I rely on you quite a bit, don’t I?”

Jigen grunted and shrugged. He wasn't sure why Goemon was bringing it up. "That a problem?"

“Just an observation. Does it annoy you?” Goemon asked.

"If I was annoyed you'd know about it," Jigen assured him, smiling. "Have you ever known me to keep my mouth shut about anything that bothered me?"

“When it suits your interests, yes. But that is good to know,” Goemon told him, raising his arms once his cuffs had been buttoned, testing his range of movement. “Is this a good size? It moves well.”

"Looks great," Jigen said. "Black suit, obviously, for a funeral. I'm thinking maybe something summerweight so it feels a little less restrictive."

Goemon nodded.

“Do you think he’ll stand out too much with the black shirt?” Lupin asked, holding some ties. “Black on black on black will clash too much.”

"A white tie should be perfect," Jigen said. "Just that little bit of 'I'm a businessman, not a ninja'. Even though you are a ninja," he joked.

Goemon laughed. Jigen smiled a bit, glad to hear it.

Lupin held up a white tie and looked at Goemon. “Do you want me to do your tie or have Jigen do it?”

“Whichever you prefer,” Goemon told them.

Jigen looked over at Lupin for a second, then back at Goemon, and sat up. "I can do it," he offered. No reason not to.

Lupin handed him the white tie, watching them carefully. He hung back. “I’m sorry that you’re having to wear Western clothing to blend in. Are you sure you want to join them in the overnight vigil before the service? We could make it work.”

Goemon frowned. “It feels important to join with those that helped Jigen. I know it’s a major risk but I would like to be there.”

"I imagine Pops will be at the vigil," Jigen said, looping the tie around Goemon's neck and tucking it under the shirt collar. "It seems like the sort of thing he'd do. He'll probably recognize you, but I think he'll also understand why you wanted to be there, you know?"

“Let’s hope so. I think the disguise will make it easier,” Goemon said. “He may at least choose to overlook my presence.”

Jigen kept his hand on Goemon's shoulder while he moved around behind him. "Okay, Goemon, I'm gonna have to stand behind you in order to tie this right," he said. "I'm gonna have my arms under yours. Is this okay?"

“Ah, yes,” Goemon told him. “Feel free to do whatever you need to do.”

"Okay," Jigen said, unable to keep a bit of a mischievous giggle out of his voice. "All right, as funny as it would be not to warn you for this next bit after you said that, I do prefer my gun hand attached to the rest of me, so. Hold still, my hand's gonna be down by your dick for just a second."

“It would be best if we did keep your hands attached, yes,” Goemon agreed.

"Better for everyone," Jigen said, quickly measuring the right length for the front of the necktie by drawing the end down to Goemon's crotch. "Okay, all done with that part. Now we just cross this over by your neck, hold that in place—does this feel okay around your neck? Not too snug?"

“Oh,” Goemon considered it. “It feels good. Comfortable.”

"Okay, tip your chin up for a second," Jigen said. "Further up. Here we go. And I wrap that again, tuck it back up here, then just down through here..." He snugged the tie up neatly, fitting the knot against the shirt collar. "All done!"

“You’re looking good, Goe-chan! I’ve got a nice suit picked out when Jigen is done,” Lupin said.

Jigen stepped back. "Time to lose the hakama, Goemon." He frowned. "Your fundoshi will probably be fine under a suit, but if it feels weird or too bulky at the waist you can borrow a pair of my briefs. You want to leave your sarashi on or nah? That's a lot of extra fabric to have under everything else."

"I would prefer to keep my sarashi, if it does not become too uncomfortable," Goemon said, running his fingers over the silk shirt where his long white wrapped belt lay underneath the fabric. He untied his hakama pants and took them off. Lupin took them and handed Goemon the suit pants to put on. While Lupin carefully put away the hakama, Goemon slipped the trousers on, tucking in his shirt and fastening them.

"What do you think?" Jigen asked, lying back down and crossing his legs again. "Livable?"

Goemon picked up Zantetsuken from where it lay on the bed and crouched down, going into a draw pose but leaving the sword in its sheath. "Yes."

Lupin met Jigen's eyes with a grin. "Goe-chan, could I pull your hair back?"

Goemon nodded, a bit stiffly. He'd been picking up Zantetsuken and setting it down as he moved around, holding it whenever he didn't need his hands for something else, and as Lupin moved behind him, he held it close.

Jigen watched them quietly from under his hat brim. There was still healing to do. They were trying to be normal around each other, but they weren't there yet. Goemon was braced, Lupin too tentative. But they were making progress—a lot of progress, given that not too long ago, Goemon had barely been able to cope with Lupin's presence at all.

Lupin produced a comb out of thin air and gently pulled it through Goemon's hair, smoothing it into a low ponytail and tying it off. "How's that look, Jigen?"

Jigen twirled his hand in the air, gesturing for Goemon to turn around. "Just need the suit jacket," he said. "Maybe some of those nerd glasses you wear sometimes. I'm thinking the real thin silver wireframes, maybe. Square or oval?"

Lupin quickly brought over the matching suit jacket and handed it to Goemon. After putting it on, Goemon turned in place, showing off.

"Oval," Lupin told him. "Fits his face better."

"You're the expert," Jigen teased. "Nah, I agree. Looking good, Goemon. Any thoughts on where to put Zantetsuken?"

"I was going to ask about fashioning some sort of cane, perhaps. That way I won't be without it, yet won't be openly carrying a weapon," Goemon said.

Lupin clapped his hands. "I have just the thing!" He dove back into the closet, and they could hear him rummaging around.

Jigen glanced over at Goemon and smiled. "You holding up okay?" he asked softly.

Goemon nodded. "I am well. Thank you. If you prefer that I not go, I will stay as well."

Jigen nodded. "I know. I appreciate it." Lupin was still banging around in the supply closet, making noises in French. Jigen considered his next words carefully. "I... I'm glad somebody's going. You're right. It feels... important." He fished out a cigarette and lit it thoughtfully. "I'm kinda wondering if I should go too."

"To the vigil or the service itself?" Goemon asked.

"The service. I'm too old to stay up all night for the vigil," Jigen joked. "Besides, Pops will be there. It'd just be awkward. But the service..." He shrugged one shoulder awkwardly. "Seems like it might be, well, uh. I mean... it's more Lupin's sort of thing. Center of attention, everybody saying how amazing you were. But it... it might be nice?" He looked away, trying to hide his blush under his hat. He didn't want to feel too much like Lupin this way—didn't ever want to be tempted to fake his death just to reassure himself that others cared about him. He still carried emotional scars from Lupin doing that. But... being celebrated, being remembered with respect... he was curious what it'd feel like.

Goemon nodded. "It is a curiosity that few gain the satisfaction of."

Lupin returned with a flourish, holding an ornate cane. "Here!" he said, pulling off the top of the cane and drawing a thin blade from inside it, with the cane's ornate top attached to the hilt. "This was my grandfather's. It wasn't designed for a katana blade, but I modified it for you a while back in case we ever needed it. We'll just pop this out—“ He did something to the base of the blade and removed it from the cane top. "Change out Zantetsuken's hilt, and hey presto! What do you think?"

"I think this will work well," Goemon said. "I appreciate your effort."

"Hey, Lupin," Jigen said, stubbing out his cigarette. "If you and me did go to the service. What were you thinking for disguises?"

"Twin brother," Lupin said, pointing at Jigen. "Cousin," he said, pointing at himself. "And best friend," he finished, pointing at Goemon. "I was thinking of something traditional for me, at least. That way one of us is in kimono. Military uniform for you."

"So I can still carry a sidearm," Jigen agreed, nodding. "I like the idea of being my own twin brother. You really think Pops won't blow a gasket if we all show up, though?"

"Oh, obviously he'll be mad," Lupin said. "But I think he'll play along. He has too much respect for—you know, tradition and ceremony and everything." He tilted his head and scratched one sideburn thoughtfully. "Plus, the place will be full of ICPO officers who think Houji-san was real, and actually died in the line of duty. He can't really go after the grieving family and reveal that it's us without also drawing way too much attention to the fact that Houji-san was you."

"Not like that'll stop him if you get annoying enough," Jigen teased wryly.

"It would be good if one of us went in kimono," Goemon said, not quite looking at Jigen. "More respectful."

Jigen nodded, chewing on his lower lip. "I'd like to say thank you to the kid," he said. "Fine. If you think you can promise to behave yourself, Lupin."

"I promise to behave and be respectful," Lupin said firmly. "This is important."

"I'll hold you to that," Jigen said, smiling.

---

Fujiko stretched luxuriantly in the warm bubble bath, wiggling her toes. This was the life. Top-tier hotel, silk sheets, red wine and caviar, and best of all, no men to bother her.

Right on cue, her phone rang. She scowled over at the screen, laid face-up near the tub so she could read it easily in case any important business calls came in. Jigen? What the hell did he want? She hadn't blocked Lupin's number lately, so it probably wasn't Lupin stealing Jigen's phone to whine about Fujiko not taking his calls. Probably.

She answered the phone with a delicate tap of her pinky—it was as close to a waterproof smartphone as you could get, but touchscreens still tended to read water droplets as fingertips—and set it to speakerphone.

"Who's dead?" Fujiko asked.

A mischievous chuckle. Definitely Jigen, but in an odd mood. "I am."

"And you didn't use your one phone call from hell to reach Lupin? Or is calling me part of your punishment?" Fujiko asked sweetly.

Jigen cackled. "Oh, you know he'd be right here with me. No, it's the alias you cooked up for me when Goemon was missing, the ICPO agent. Tomasu Houji." Jigen tended to default to American name order, family name last, when he didn't have a specific reason to do otherwise. "Pops apparently didn't like the idea of him just going AWOL, so now he's having a hero's funeral."

Fujiko stretched out again, settling in the bath, and chuckled. "I take it you three are going?"

"Yeah... I thought, uh, you might, y'know. Like to come along. Dance on my grave or whatever. If you're not busy."

She paused and smiled. Jigen was so transparent sometimes when he was trying to pretend he wasn't being nice to her. It was kind of cute. "It would be a pleasure. What are the roles you've decided on?"

"I'm gonna be my own twin brother, Lupin is our cousin, Goemon is an old friend. I figure you could be another friend, or a relative of Goemon's maybe, what do you think?"

"I'll be a friend. This is such an interesting thing to happen," Fujiko said. "Pops really is just so upstanding, isn't he? He couldn't let your alias be seen as a bad person."

Jigen laughed comfortably. "He's so utterly Pops," he agreed. "I'll text you the details, okay? You can meet us at the hideout or at the funeral, whichever. Goemon's doing the 24-hour vigil beforehand, 'cause he's Goemon. I'm guessing you'll pass on that one?"

"Definitely so. I'll meet you at the hideout. Is Goemon fit enough to do that? I know you can't stop him once he's committed to something, but…" Fujiko asked.

"Mmm," Jigen said vaguely, a little resigned. "Yeah, well, he's fit enough that I ain't gonna pin him down and keep him from going. Y'know?"

"Fair. It'll be a good test for him, then," Fujiko said. It was difficult to know when Goemon was pushing himself too hard, but this would be a good trial. She knew if Jigen was truly concerned, he wouldn't hesitate to put himself in Goemon's way.

"Yup," Jigen agreed. "See ya?"

"Text me the details," Fujiko told him. "See you soon!"

---

Technically, Zenigata thought, sitting down at the vigil, the service would be a memorial, not a funeral. There was no corpse in the casket that stood at the front of the room with Tomasu Houji's ID photo propped up against it—for reasons that were obvious to Zenigata, if to nobody else.

He really, really hadn't planned for it to go this far. He just... well, he couldn't have done anything differently, could he?

It made total sense to give 'Officer Houji' the credit for bringing the kidnapping case to Zenigata's attention, because that was literally true. And it made just as much sense to explain Houji's sudden disappearance by claiming the guy had gone to recon the location they'd deduced from the case list, because that was also literally true. Zenigata hadn't mentioned he'd deduced the location on his own after 'Houji' had left, then waited for the all-clear message from Lupin before leading the ICPO raid on the place, but that was a minor omission.

(Given the amount of carnage he'd found there, he was very glad he'd listened to Jigen's terse warning and kept his people out of the gunman's way. He had a strong stomach, and he could understand the ruthless methods Jigen had employed, especially once he heard some of the details the tech guys pulled off the hard drives from that computer hub, but... damn. Every so often, he was forcibly reminded that if Jigen ever actually wanted Zenigata dead, he'd be so dead he'd have to have a closed-casket memorial, because there wouldn't be anything to scrape up and bury.)

Anyway, so that was the point where he might possibly have been better advised to keep his mouth shut—the point where they'd been clearing out the office complex turned cult compound, and officially figuring out the whole 'a cult kidnapped and tried to brainwash Goemon Ishikawa XIII, the Lupin gang staged a rescue' thing. The point, specifically, where somebody had thought to ask where the hell Officer Houji had been while Daisuke Jigen was mowing the place flat... and in fact afterwards, since Houji hadn't yet reported back in.

It was very probable that nobody would have figured out Houji had actually been Jigen the whole time, but, well... Zenigata hadn't actually realized that right away. Not until somewhere after the point where he'd made an extremely moving speech about Houji getting caught in the crossfire and dying in the line of duty and accidentally being obliterated in one of the grenade explosion craters in the hallways.

Which was, in fact, why he was now sitting at the guy's funeral vigil. Because it would just be sad if nobody attended, and it was kind of Zenigata's fault that the whole production was even happening.

It was... interesting, attending a fake funeral that he actually knew was fake. A new experience for him.

A door slid open in the room and Zenigata glanced up in curiosity. Was that the priest coming in? His jaw dropped as he took in the uncharacteristic clothing on the still far too skinny frame. Ishikawa! What was Goemon Ishikawa doing here? In a western-style suit, even! And leaning on a cane—had he been injured worse than Zenigata knew? Would Lupin have mentioned that in his all-clear email, or kept it secret? Zenigata was technically their enemy, after all.

"Hello," Goemon said calmly, bowing in greeting. "I am here for Officer Houji-san's vigil." He had his hair pulled back and glasses on, but... did they think Zenigata was that dumb?

"As am I," Zenigata said cautiously, rising to greet Goemon. "I didn't work with him for long, but I came to respect him greatly. My name is Zenigata. May I ask how you knew him?" Maybe it wasn't the best idea to put Goemon on the spot, but he felt like he had to ask something.

"Igaguri Kotaru," Goemon introduced himself, family name first. "Tomasu-kun was my closest friend growing up. He and his family were always there for me. I said I'd be here for them this time."

Well, that told Zenigata exactly nothing. Houji's 'family' might be a reference to the Lupin gang, but did Goemon's presence mean the others weren't attending, or... It was too complicated. "I'm glad someone close to him could be here," he said, because at least that was true.

Goemon bowed his head. “I appreciate that you are here. I understand that he was… That he helped resolve something rather dangerous?”

"Yes, I was able to help him locate the headquarters of a cult he was tracking," Zenigata said, feeling very aware of how utterly ridiculous it was to be filling Goemon Ishikawa in on the circumstances of his own rescue. But... it was also very much like the samurai to decide that honor demanded he attend the funeral of a fictional officer who had aided in his rescue. Maybe that was all that was happening here.

“I don’t know much about what Tomasu-kun did, obviously, but I’m sure that we owe you a large debt. Thank you for your help in this instance.” Goemon bowed towards him.

Zenigata returned the bow. "Thank you. I'm glad I was able to help him in his work." Maybe they could just stop talking soon.

Goemon nodded and sat silently on the floor, completely still, resting his cane against his left shoulder as he often did Zantetsuken's sheath.

Zenigata sat down again as well, noting the way Goemon seemed to move without pain. The cane was likely just Zantetsuken's disguise, then. It was a relief to see the young man whole and healing. Something would be missing if Goemon were to be permanently injured and unable to return to his position with the Lupin gang.

"It's good to see you well," Zenigata said quietly. He didn't want to say too much and break the pretense of why they were here, but... he wanted to say something.

Goemon smiled. “Thank you very much.” The two of them settled in quietly to spend the night.

---

Jigen buttoned his dark green, almost-black uniform jacket and made sure his tie was straight one more time. He was dressed as a Sansa in the Japanese armed forces, ground defense—what an American would think of as equivalent to an Army Major. Lupin had offered him a choice between the ranks of Sansa or San-i, major or second lieutenant in American terms, the point being that each one was considered the third of a group of three ranks and had the number three, san, in its name.

Lupin just had to incorporate those subtle puns in his disguise designs. Jigen, more practical, had chosen the higher rank on the principle that people felt a lot more entitled to boss a second lieutenant around, especially if his appearance wasn't quite regulation.

He looked pretty damn regulation, though. He was wearing a beardless full-face mask and a short wig, his normally wild mop of real hair tucked close up underneath it. He looked not unlike the way he had as a teenager, which was weird as fuck, especially combined with the sharpness of his adult cheekbones, the relative weariness in his eyes, and the very slightly uncanny-valley shape of the disguised chin compared to the actual one he remembered seeing in the mirror decades ago. Nobody else would notice the difference, probably not even Lupin, who'd never seen him actually clean-shaven, but it definitely felt strange.

He put on his cap, first settling it at the absolutely horizontal regulation angle, which shaded but did not hide his eyes, then deciding that wouldn't do and pulling the front much lower. Zenigata would know, but Zenigata would know even if Jigen went bareheaded, so he might as well be comfortable.

He snapped to attention and did a couple of drill steps, making sure everything looked good in the mirror. Staying at attention was going to be a pain in the ass, but if he couldn't have his usual suit, something as tailored and structured as a uniform was the most comfortable option for him. Plus, it allowed him to carry a weapon openly.

The thigh holster he wore as part of his uniform was designed to hold a standard blocky-shaped automatic service weapon, and hold it securely; if a Major in dress uniform needed to quick-draw, something had gone more than wrong. Jigen had a Sig Sauer P220 in the thigh holster—clean, functional, loaded, and correct for the role, but with the seconds it might take to draw, it was as good as decorative in a pinch. So he also had his own Smith & Wesson revolver holstered down the back of his pants like usual, even though it left the slightest lump under his crisp uniform jacket.

Jigen headed out into the main room of the hideout to see how the others looked.

Fujiko was in something high-necked for once, choosing a black suit with a knee length skirt and low heels. Her face was shaped differently, and she wore her hair up in a subtle style and had dyed it dark again. One of those little black hats with the tiny veils was perched on her head.

"Looking sharp, Fujiko," Jigen said, nodding politely. He appreciated her treating the whole situation with the appropriate gravitas.

"I could say the same for you. The uniform fits nicely," Fujiko said with a grin.

Jigen chuckled. "Thanks. Where's Lupin? Still primping?"

"Nope, all done!" Lupin's voice chirped. The other door opened and Lupin swept out and twirled.

He was in full Japanese formalwear, the kind of thing Goemon usually wore to weddings, but all black as befitted funeral robes. He was wearing a mask and wig, at least, so he wasn't just blatantly appearing as Lupin in Goemon's clothes. No, wait, those weren't actually Goemon's clothes; quite apart from the fact that they were the right size for him, the little round family crest or kamon on the outfit was different. In fact, it was the stylized sideways 'III' symbol Lupin used sometimes.

Well, at least it wasn't the fucking peanut doodle. Zenigata might actually interrupt the ceremony if Lupin showed up with that as his crest. The mask, though... Lupin looked unsettlingly familiar. Very much so, in fact. He had rough chin-length black hair, narrowed eyes over high cheekbones, and a nicely trimmed goatee.

Jigen gave him a long, unimpressed look. "Don't tell me you decided we were triplets."

"Ehehehe! No. Your clan has a very strong jawline," Lupin told him with a toothy grin.

Jigen rolled his eyes. "Fine. But lose the beard. You look too much like me, it's creepy."

Lupin pouted and tore off the mask, revealing a similar-looking but clean-shaven face underneath. "Fine," he said with a scowl. "Does the rest of me look good?"

"You know you do," Jigen said. "You got your Walther under there somewhere?"

Lupin pulled his haori over, revealing his shoulder holster underneath. "I'm good."

"I'm not showing you mine," Fujiko joked, patting her thigh under her skirt, where her deadly little Browning lived.

Jigen snorted. "Did I ask?"

"Lupin would have," Fujiko said. "Shall we be off?"

Jigen looped his elbow around Lupin's neck affectionately. "Yeah, let's get going."

---

Zenigata fidgeted slightly in his front-row seat, waiting for the service to start. He was taking the fake funeral seriously, because it felt wrong to do anything else. He was all dressed up in the formal dress uniform that barely ever saw the light of day. So was Yata, next to him.

Yata didn't know anything about Houji's double identity; he didn't need to, and it was going to stay that way. Sometimes Zenigata felt kind of bad that Yata was assigned to him. The kid had promise. It wasn't like the Lupin case didn't need good officers, but... with the number of times Zenigata had crossed career-ending lines to do what was right, with the number of those bombshells still out there for him, he was going to torpedo his career for good someday. He just hoped he could manage not to bring Yata down with him.

There was a murmur amongst the gathered officials behind him. Yata twisted around next to him. "Sir! The family is here," he said.

Zenigata's stomach sank. Houji didn't have any family, because he hadn't existed except as one of Jigen's covers. He'd checked that the first day he'd met the guy, because he needed to know whether there was a real Tomasu Houji tied up somewhere in a broom closet. (Checking whether a cover actually had a real person behind it, when the point of all such covers was to make you think it did... now there was just one of many skills he hadn't taught Yata yet. It was hard to know where to start with that one. He did it as much on experience and knowing the little commonalities of Lupin's and Fujiko's covers as anything.)

Which meant... Zenigata closed his eyes for a brief moment, then turned. Yup. Two lanky men and one buxom woman, and Ishikawa in his suit walking over to join them. One of the men was even in full Japanese formalwear, which was a... bold choice.

"I'll greet them," Zenigata said, standing. He met the group near their seats and bowed low. He'd stay in character as long as they did. If they started anything, the cuffs would come out. Had they arranged for some strange treasure to wind up in Houji's casket? Maybe, but stealing it from the vigil last night would have been a lot more convenient, even with Zenigata present.

"Thank you for coming," Zenigata told them. "I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm Inspector Zenigata. It's been my honor to resolve this case after the untimely passing of Officer Houji-san."

He stood upright and looked over the four of them. The Lupin gang really needed to learn that swapping silhouettes didn't help when they all looked that distinctive. Fujiko was barely even disguised, just hair dye and a little contouring. The other two men were both clean-shaven, which was a bit of a surprise, and both looked a whole lot like Jigen, which... shouldn't have been a surprise, considering they were supposed to be his family. The one in traditional robes had Jigen's long bushy hair, but he was bareheaded, and the one in uniform had a cap pulled down suspiciously far over his eyes. Zenigata knew which one he'd bet on.

"Thank you very much, Inspector," said the military one in Jigen's voice. Nailed it. Well, probably. The two partners were fully capable of doing each other's voices. But Zenigata didn't think they were. "I'm Tomasu's twin brother, Tetsuo."

Twin brother. Seriously? They were barely even pretending at this point.

"This is our cousin, Moroboshi Shinsuke," Jigen continued, gesturing to the robed man, who had to be Lupin. Zenigata restrained himself from grabbing at the man's face. "Nakamura Miwa and Igaguri Kotaru are old friends of the family." He indicated Fujiko and Goemon, giving all the names with the family names first.

"I met Zenigata-san at the vigil," Goemon remarked. "It was good to see one so dedicated there."

"I was glad I could attend," Zenigata said truthfully.

Jigen continued, "We all wanted to thank you for your work on closing this case. Tomasu would have appreciated it." Zenigata saw just an instant's flash of dark eyes from under the brim of the billed cap, brief enough that from anyone but Jigen it might have been an accident. But he knew. This was as close as Jigen could get to thanking him in person.

"It was an honor," Zenigata said, and that was the truth, too. "We should get seated. The ceremony will be starting soon." It would have been easy enough to just assume that, because the man who had been Tomasu Houji was alive and well, that the rest didn't matter. But it did. Funerals were for the living anyway, the ones who remained behind. This was for the officers who only knew Houji as an ideal, to honor the hard work and sacrifice and posthumous success of a man they'd never meet. To recommit to the knowledge they all shared: that dying in the line of duty didn't mean their work had been in vain. That as long as they could pass the torch, the work would get done.

And for the four criminals now filing into the family seats... he really didn't think they were here to cause trouble. It was an opportunity to celebrate Goemon's return, to quietly honor Jigen for the dedication that had saved their friend—and just maybe, to show some respect to Zenigata for the role he'd played as well?

Jigen paused, the other three seated, and turned back to Zenigata for a moment. "After the ceremony," he said softly, "I'd like to meet your partner there, if I can. Thank him for the contribution. To my... brother's, uh, work. It's the kid's program, right?"

Zenigata nodded. "I'd be happy to introduce you, Houji-san. He does excellent work," he said with a mixture of pride in his subordinate and still warm feelings towards the gunman. Jigen's appreciation of his help was nice. That would likely fade soon. But he was glad both Jigen and Goemon were alright.

Jigen nodded with a slight smile and slid into his seat across the aisle, waiting for the ceremony to start.

Chapter 3

It was a nice little ceremony, for a standardized mostly non-denominational, vaguely Japanese-style thing. Jigen wasn't religious, and there'd been no reason for Tomasu to be, so he hadn't put any preference down in the paperwork.

Japanese funerals weren't big on the fancy speeches about what an amazing person the deceased had been. Jigen was just fine with that. It wasn't like Tomasu Houji had had any close friends at the ICPO to make a speech, and like hell was Jigen giving his own damn eulogy. (Lupin would have, in a heartbeat—had done, occasionally—but getting up in front of people and talking about how sad he was? That just wasn't Jigen's speed. A few muttered words alone, his hat actually taken off for a moment, and a flask poured out on a silent grave, that was more his style.)

Jigen had been putting most of his focus toward sitting properly—standing at attention was fine compared to sitting, his legs wanted to be anywhere other than where they were—but he honestly stared from under his cap when he saw Pops walking to the little podium with his dress uniform cap in his big hands.

Shit. Of course, Tomasu's direct supervisor had been completely out of reach for cover-maintaining reasons, and Pops was the only actual ICPO agent who'd really interacted with Tomasu, but... well. Shit. Apparently ICPO funerals included the big fancy speech after all.

He glanced sideways and jabbed Lupin hard in the ribs with his elbow. "You're grinning," he hissed.

To his credit, Lupin did turn his expression down to something more appropriate. "Oops. Sorry," he whispered, not sounding especially repentant, but Jigen couldn't really blame him. This was gonna be... interesting.

Jigen gave up on his legs and crossed one ankle over the other knee so he could stop thinking about them and focus on what Pops would actually say.

"Good afternoon, everyone," Zenigata said, looking around the gathering. "I... I'm not the greatest at public speaking, so I will be reading my remarks, but I assure you all they come from the heart." He pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket and looked down at it. "Most of us here didn't know Officer Tomasu Houji well. I only worked with him briefly myself, but in that time, I grew to know him as a dedicated man and a brave one." He looked up, straight at Jigen, then back to his paper. "I was able to share with Officer Houji a tool designed by my partner, Officer Goro Yatagarasu, for our work on the Lupin case, a case with which I'm sure you're all familiar." A slight laugh rippled through the assembled officers, and Jigen bit the corner of his mouth to keep from smiling. "That tool gave us the breakthrough we needed in Officer Houji's investigation. He chose to proceed ahead on recon while I mobilized the teams we needed to take down the Twin Stars organization for good."

Zenigata looked up again, over the audience. Damn, the man had a presence when he wanted to. "Any of us officers may face a similar choice at any time. Houji-san knew the risks. He made the choice I hope that I or any other ICPO officer would make in his place. The intel he gathered was crucial to our success in his mission." Another look straight at Jigen, then over to Lupin.

Shit, I think Lupin forwarded him my recon texts, Jigen realized, blushing a bit under his mask. Zenigata's appreciation was so... honest. Jigen hadn't really done that much to help, other than take down a bunch of guards who would have been shooting at Zenigata's people. Was that really enough?

"And make no mistake," Zenigata continued, "it was very much his mission. I may be leading the wrap-up now, but Officer Houji was on the trail of the Twin Stars cult long before we met. Without his dedication, ICPO might not even know of their existence." Okay, that was fair—Jigen had been able to put Pops on the track of the bitch-ass weirdos who'd snagged Goemon, even if it was only because he hadn't been able to find the trail himself without Zenigata's help. Maybe... maybe a little bit of this praise was warranted. A tiny bit.

"Therefore, in closing, I simply want to say that Officer Tomasu Houji was an inspiration to all of us, and wherever he is now, I know he's proud of us for continuing his work," Zenigata said. "Thank you all." He bowed slightly and went back to his seat.

Damn, Pops, Jigen thought in honest admiration. The old man had gotten through the entire thing without slipping once, even knowing that Jigen was watching him from the front row. You had to admire that kind of courage under pressure. Sometimes Jigen forgot just how damn good at his job Zenigata was.

A delicate sob broke the silence. Jigen glared sideways, seeing that 'Shinsuke' had produced an elaborately black-bordered handkerchief and turned on the waterworks. Honestly, though, he was kind of glad. You couldn't exactly clap at a funeral, but that speech deserved some sort of acknowledgement. He slipped his arm around Lupin's shoulders, feeling intensely awkward because everybody was looking at them.

Goemon had his eyes closed, two tracks against his cheeks. Fujiko dabbed delicately at her own eyes and handed Goemon some tissues. Jigen was kind of glad the military uniform gave him an excuse to remain stoic, he wasn't great at crying on command—but neither was Goemon, which meant the samurai was honestly touched. Which was sort of sweet.

The ceremony proceeded quickly to its close. As people got up and started to leave, Jigen stood up and made his way over toward Pops and his little blue-coated shadow. Yatagarasu was incredibly fresh-faced and crisply tailored, a skinny little twink with wide long-lashed eyes.

"You spoke very well, Keibu," Jigen said with a deep bow to Zenigata. "It's..." He kind of wished he had a prepared speech. He couldn't slip up in front of the kid, but—well, hearing Pops call him an inspiration was giving him some feelings he wasn't quite sure how to handle. "I was very touched. I wish Tomasu could have heard what you had to say about him. I'm sure he would have been proud." That was about as close as he could skirt to fuck, Pops, you didn't have to go that hard, I'm blushing, at least in company.

Zenigata flushed and bowed. "Thank you for your kindness, Houji-san," he said. "Allow me to introduce you to my junior officer. This is Officer Goro Yatagarasu. He's the one that made the program we used. He also helped me write my speech for today. He's very talented."

The kid bowed deeply and formally. "Everyone calls me Yata," he said. "I'm honored by your kind words, Houji-san, and those of my senpai. I wish I could have met Houji-sama. He sounds like he must have been a very admirable man."

Aw, Yata blushed just as bad as Goemon. It was pretty adorable. Jigen bit back a smile.

"We were very close," Jigen said, once more skating that line between saying something true and blowing his cover. "I can tell you for sure, Yata-san, he was so damn happy to get a lead as good as the one your program gave him." Jigen flicked another glance at Zenigata. "I... I may miss him, but he went out doing something really important, and he couldn't have pulled it off without you. I can't regret any of that." He bowed again to Yata. "I wanted to say thank you." He really wanted to shake the kid's hand and possibly buy him a drink, but he was trying to come across less blatantly American than he usually did.

Yata bowed low again. "I was so glad I could be of service," he said. "I wish we could have done more to avoid this."

"You did plenty," Jigen assured him. "And the speech was amazing. A true honor."

Lupin shouldered past Jigen, still sniffling artistically. Fujiko and Goemon gathered more politely just on the edge of Jigen's peripheral vision.

"Thank you both so much," Lupin told them, shifting his voice deeper than usual. "My cousin's work was dangerous but it's good to know he wasn't alone."

"Thank you," Zenigata said again, bowing awkwardly. "It was an honor to work with him. He was a good man."

"We will be forever grateful to you for finishing Masu-kun's work," Goemon said, bowing slightly as well, leaning on Fujiko and his cane for balance. Looked like maybe that 24-hour vigil hit him a little harder than expected. "It was… it meant a lot. He didn't discuss such matters, but we know how it weighed upon him."

"Excuse us, please, but Igaguri-san is still recovering from an illness. We should probably go so he can rest," Fujiko said politely, her hand under Goemon's arm for support.

"Safe travels," Zenigata said kindly, bowing again. "A fast recovery, Igaguri-san."

"Safe travels," Yata echoed, bowing again as well.

Jigen gave Zenigata another quick nod of thanks and stepped to Goemon's other side to help support him. "Good to meet both of you," he said.

"Likewise," Zenigata said, turning to guide Yata back towards the assembled officers.

The four thieves walked toward their car in the distance, Goemon trying to act dignified but obviously thankful for the assistance.

"Soooo, Ji-ji," Lupin said, draping himself across Jigen's shoulders as they walked, once they were out of earshot of the officers. "Feeling better after all that?"

Jigen just glanced over at him and didn't say anything.

"He's right, you know," Lupin continued, irrepressible as ever. "You were a hero. You saved Goemon-chan and probably a lot of Pops' officers, too. A front-door raid on that place would have been a bloodbath and you know it."

"It would," Jigen admitted. He hadn't really looked at it that way. Maybe... "I guess I helped some after all, huh?"

"You did," Goemon agreed. "You helped a great deal. Neither Lupin nor Zenigata would have succeeded without you."

Jigen was blushing under his mask. "Thanks, I guess," he mumbled awkwardly. "I—I just did the job in front of me, though."

Lupin leaned into him. "You're a pro."

"That, we can agree on," Jigen admitted. It was about the only thing he felt like he could rely on sometimes. Just being a professional, being the guy his friends could always trust to get the job done.

"We're strongest together," Goemon said. "Let's go home."

Fujiko nodded. "You did good, Jigen," she said simply.

Jigen laughed wryly. "Yeah, let's go home before everybody just gets completely sappy, huh?"

---

Yata really wasn't sure whether to say anything. He kept looking across to the Inspector driving the car, nearly opening his mouth to say something, and then thinking better of it. He couldn't figure it out... it didn't make any sense? That... that had been them, right? It wasn't like Ishikawa had even been disguised.

"Sir?" he finally managed. Zenigata glanced over at him, looked back at the road. That wasn't exactly helpful, so eventually Yata added a "...why?"

"Why what?" Zenigata asked.

He didn't want to sound like he was criticizing. The Inspector was amazing, and Yata had nothing but respect for him. "...That was them, right, Inspector?"

Zenigata smiled and ducked his head. "It was," he said. "Good job, Yata. As for why," Zenigata sighed. "Well, let's see how much you've learned. What stood out to you?"

Yata had been working with the Inspector long enough to know that he wanted truthful answers more than ones that tried to be respectful. That was fine with Yata, even though he did honestly respect the Inspector so much it was occasionally difficult.

"Well, the way you reacted to the family, first of all," Yata admitted. "You obviously knew it was them before you even turned around. Which means..." He scowled at nothing, trying to fit the clues into some kind of shape.

"Go on," Zenigata said encouragingly.

"Which means... Houji didn't have family?" Yata scratched his head. "No, that's not it, I've read his file. It didn't mention a twin brother, I don't know why Jigen did that—it was Jigen in the military uniform, right, Keibu?"

"Keep going," Zenigata said with an encouraging smile.

"You couldn't have known there was going to be a fake twin brother before you even turned around anyway, so that's not relevant for now," Yata continued. He felt like he wasn't getting anywhere, but the Inspector believed he could do it. "But he had other family. They could have been Houji-san's real family and friends, hypothetically, yet you knew they weren't."

Zenigata pulled the car into a parking lot and got out. Yata got out as well, running on autopilot, and looked around in some confusion at the nice grassy park with a duck pond. "Sir?"

Zenigata lit a cigarette. "You're doing well, but it was going to take you longer than the ride back to the office to figure it all out. Keep going."

"Um, okay, sir," Yata said. He put his hands in his pockets and started walking around the car. "If the two of you had known each other for longer than you said, you could have known things about him that weren't in his file. But that doesn't feel right?"

Zenigata was still just smoking quietly, leaning against the car, smiling that paternal little smile. "Good work, Yata, listening to your gut. You're making excellent progress. No, I didn't know Houji for any longer than I said in the speech."

"All right, I'm stuck," Yata said, turning to walk around the car in the other direction. "Different angle. Why did the Lupin gang even show up? They weren't there to steal anything, unless their methods have gotten a lot quieter. They had to have truly been there to attend the funeral." He stopped and tilted his head. "Huh. They had to know none of their duplicates would show up, either. That has to have something to do with the fake twin brother. Were any of the others based on real people, either?"

No reaction from Zenigata. He might as well have been a statue of an inspector, except for the smoke rising from his cigarette.

"I'm close," Yata said. "I'm very close. You can't help playing hotter-colder when I'm talking about a case like this. But I need to solve it based on actual logic, not just you knowing the answer."

Zenigata chuckled. "Good man."

"Go back," Yata said to himself. "They were truly there to attend the funeral. I mean, Houji did die in the chaos of the Ishikawa rescue. Perhaps they felt they should honor his sacrifice. Perhaps he was even helping them, off the books, like you do sometimes?" He frowned. "That doesn't feel quite right either. The Lupin gang doesn't usually let people die who are helping them. And if they did, they wouldn't simply leave the memorial plans to us." He frowned and shuddered a bit. "Granted, that wasn't a typical Lupin gang crime scene by any means..."

"That it wasn't," Zenigata agreed. "The Lupin gang gets ruthless when one of their own is taken. You're doing well."

"That went beyond ruthless, sir," Yata said. "That was a bloodbath. Not... not that I question your judgment, Inspector, but..."

"You're wondering why I seem so sure it was really Lupin and his crew on the Ishikawa rescue," Zenigata said. "It's true, they usually do their best to avoid collateral damage. I would remind you, though, that the entire complex was staffed by armed, mostly brainwashed true believers, save for that one doctor Lupin dropped off for us. Hardly innocent bystanders."

"Vengeance, then? For Ishikawa's condition or Houji's death?" Yata scowled at the ground and started pacing again. "It would explain why we didn't find Houji's body, if he was working with the Lupin gang and they took it along."

A snorting laugh exploded out of Zenigata. When Yata looked up, the Inspector's face was sober as ever, but he knew what he'd heard.

"Wait," Yata said, shaking his head. "That doesn't make any sense. Normally you've told me that with the Lupin gang, if there's no body, they're not dead. But if Houji-san isn't dead, then why would either you or the gang have any interest in a fake funeral?" He sat down on the hood of the car, unhappy. "I'm not getting anywhere with this one, sir."

"I'm not making fun of you, Yata," Zenigata said gently. "You're doing excellent work. I only laughed because your hypothesis was so good. You provided a much better explanation for the missing corpse than I did."

Yata scrunched his entire face up. That didn't make any sense. "You mean you don't think it was a grenade? Why the hell would you lie about that, sir? I mean..."

"No offense taken, Yata," the Inspector assured him. "You're a good man. I wouldn't be putting in this much effort training you if you didn't have the abilities a good Lupin investigator needs. You've got all the evidence you need, I think. Now take a deep breath, let your mind relax, and put it together."

Yata crossed his legs up onto the hood of the car, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply.

If there was no body, they weren't dead. He'd questioned the grenade theory a bit, but decided the Inspector knew best, which had obviously been a mistake. Another big question he had was why Houji would ever even have gone inside the complex without backup, instead of staying safely outside where all the recon photos had been taken. The Inspector hadn't seemed to criticize that as foolhardy, either, which Yata certainly would have done. Houji should at least have taken a partner, but nobody else was missing.

Oh shit. Oh shit. If there wasn't a body, or a partner, or a supervisor... "Sir," Yata asked, knowing he'd sound crazy to anyone except the Inspector, but feeling the unmistakable excitement of having come up with a theory just crazy enough to be true. "Did Tomasu Houji ever exist at all?"

Zenigata flung his head back with a proud, joyous, larger-than-life laugh, the one that meant Yata had done something really amazing. "I told you you could do it!" he cheered, turning to Yata with a wide grin.

Yata held up one finger. "Don't tell me the rest of it. I want to see if I can figure it out. The only people I know for absolutely certain were inside that complex were Ishikawa, because his torture records were in the computers and the IT guys haven't said anything about those being faked, and Jigen, because..." He gestured awkwardly. "Because the forensics guys said all the guards in the central room were killed from the same cover point, and it would take somebody like Jigen to pull that off."

Zenigata nodded, grinning. "You're doing amazing, Yata. You've got this."

"Ishikawa obviously wasn't impersonating an ICPO officer while he was being held," Yata continued, "so that suggests Houji was either Jigen or Lupin. Either way, that obviously means the reason for Houji to exist was as a cover so they could... Shit." He stared at Zenigata, open-mouthed. "Sir. Shit. I mean..." He could hardly bring himself to think it. "Fuck. The algorithm. The program. Mr Jigen said—oh shit. Fuck. Sir. You didn't."

Zenigata spread his hands. He wasn't smiling anymore. He looked serious and a little sad. "I did. I had my reasons." He sighed a bit. "You have a big decision to make, Officer Yatagarasu. I hoped not to put you in this position, but if you're smart enough to be of any use to me on the Lupin case, you're smart enough to figure these things out." He half turned away again and lit another cigarette. "I'll tell you the whole story, answer any questions you want. But we both know that the more you know about it, if you don't turn me in, the worse your position is if it ever comes out." He turned back to face Yata and leaned sideways against the car. One big hand held out the car keys. "We might want to drive around for this. No eavesdroppers. Or you can drive me to the station. I won't deny anything. Your call."

Yata took the keys slowly, his brain whirling. Zenigata had deliberately allowed Lupin or one of his people to use Yata's anti-Lupin detection program? Obviously to find and rescue Ishikawa, but—shit. That was so wrong. Yata couldn't even wrap his head around how wrong that was.

They had attended the funeral. Why? He still didn't know. But the serious way Jigen had bowed to Yata and thanked him...

"I haven't decided yet," Yata said. "But I would like to start by hearing the truth." He slid off the car hood and walked to the driver's-side door.

"Fair enough," Zenigata said. He walked around the car and got in at the passenger side, tossing away his cigarette.

Yata got into the car and started it up. "So," he said, feeling awkward and heavy-hearted.

"Houji was Jigen," Zenigata began. "I don't know why not Lupin. He was disguised, of course, but not as heavily as he would have needed to fool me. I don't think he expected to see me over in Organized Crime."

"Fair so far," Yata said blandly. He really didn't know how he felt about any of this. He just needed to know the truth.

"I was ready to arrest him," Zenigata continued. "He told me Ishikawa was missing. That he and Lupin had burned through every other contact and lead they had. He didn't ask for any special access beyond what he'd already taken, Yata," he said, sounding almost defeated. "He just asked me to look over his case notes. See if I spotted anything he'd missed."

"You believed him," Yata said slowly. He didn't get it. He wanted to understand. Wanted to believe that his Inspector hadn't simply betrayed everything they both stood for. But... "You trusted him?"

Zenigata reached over and tapped the steering wheel. Yata pulled over and parked, turned to look at him.

Zenigata's face was completely serious, his big eyes steady. "Yata... Daisuke Jigen took off his hat, looked me in the eye, and asked me if he should give up his search. If he was already too late. He was that desperate."

Yata felt like his heart was inside a block of ice. He didn't have the personal experience with these men that the Inspector did, but he knew their files inside and out. For the always-reserved Jigen to do that... Yata wondered if he could have refused to help, either.

"They're still criminals," he said, very, very slowly.

Zenigata nodded heavily, not looking away. "If you stay on this case, Yata, you're going to face choices like this. Not always. There are plenty of times we'll just be chasing a greedy little monkey and his friends. But someday, somewhere down this road, you're going to look into the eyes of a man who could have killed you a million times over if he wanted, and you're going to know that you're his last hope to save someone very dear to him, and you're going to have to choose between being a good cop or... or a good man."

The words hung in the air between them.

"You truly believe you did the right thing," Yata said. Not even a question. He just... he didn't know what to do with any of this.

"I could have done my duty on paper and arrested Jigen," Zenigata said. "Lupin would have sprung him again by now. Ishikawa would still be missing or worse. And the Twin Stars would still be a threat we didn't even know to look for." He sighed heavily. "Instead, I ran your algorithm over a set of casefiles Jigen gave me, then gave him a copy of the processed results. He never touched the program itself. It shouldn't be compromised, Ishikawa is alive and recovering, and the Twin Stars are down with zero officer casualties."

Yata nodded slowly. "I'm... I'm going to have to think about that, Keibu. I do still have a couple of other questions, but they're not relevant to—to the choice I have to make. Such as the reason they attended the funeral?" he asked. He thought he might know the answer to that one, but... it seemed awfully conceited.

Zenigata just looked at him. "What do you think?"

"I... I mean," Yata said. "The only thing they did besides sit there was speak to the two of us."

Zenigata nodded warmly. "They wanted to thank you. Jigen especially, I think. He knows—they all know—he couldn't have tracked down Ishikawa if you hadn't built me that program."

"I guess it'll be a pretty good program if it can still help when they know it exists," Yata muttered.

Zenigata chuckled. "Just think of it like Lupin's calling cards. An added difficulty layer that forces us to get better. Besides," he added more gently, "even if I knew for sure the program was useless now, I think Ishikawa's life was worth it."

Yata sighed. This was still a lot to deal with. "Is Jigen always that... bloody when he's rescuing his partners?" he asked.

Zenigata gave him a keen look. "Only when he's at the end of his rope," he said. "That's right, isn't it; it's the second time you've seen him permanently level a small army in order to get his friends back. No, you don't have to worry about setting something like that off every time we catch Lupin or Ishikawa." He smiled wryly. "I don't think I'd have survived this long if it worked that way."

Well, that was fair. Sort of. Yata scowled thoughtfully again. "Why... uh, I mean, this sounds kind of awful, but, um, sir... why are we still alive?"

"Good question," Zenigata admitted with a laugh. "What do you think?"

Yata shrugged. "The only possible answer is that they don't want us dead. I just don't understand why. You've been getting in their way for... a long time." He glanced over, not quite able to word what he was curious about.

"I know how it looks, Yata," Zenigata said simply. "It looks like I'm in their pocket. As if Lupin keeps me around for times like this." His face was completely sincere. “I'm not, but I would also think as much in your position.”

It was hard. He desperately wanted to believe in his Senpai. Yata took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Inspector…” He trailed off. “I’ve seen you on the job. I’ve seen you and Lupin battle. I don’t know… I don’t know what to say. Our time together has—has taught me a lot." He looked up. "I believe in you, Keibu-dono." Honored Inspector. "I know some people might say I'm too close, that being your second is distorting my perspective. But I know your work." He took the car keys out of the ignition and offered them back to Zenigata. "I'm here to learn about the Lupin case from you. I'm going to continue to do that. Sir."

Zenigata stared at Yata for a minute, at the keys in his hand, at his face, and then his lip wibbled and his big dark eyes brimmed with tears. "Thank you, Yata," he said, taking the keys. "That... that means a lot to me."

Yata still felt extremely awkward whenever the Inspector got all emotional, but he'd been on this assignment long enough to know that it was just how Zenigata was sometimes. He nodded respectfully and got out of the car so they could switch seats again, and also so the Inspector would have a chance to pull himself together a bit.

Now that he thought about it, that should have been a tell right away that there was something off about the heroic death of Tomasu Houji. Zenigata had gotten through the entire eulogy speech without breaking down in tears once.

They drove back to the office in silence.

---

Several months later:

Yata jumped into the squad car and put on his seatbelt. Sirens pierced the silence around him as engines roared to life. "There, Sir!" Yata said, pointing at the flash of yellow on the road ahead. Lupin was on the run with the Beauharnais Emeralds and a satchel full of other jewels.

Their police car screamed down the road, followed by others. Zenigata had a broad grin on his face as he drove, gaining on the little Fiat. He slewed the car back and forth across the road. Only then did Yata realize that Jigen's lanky upper body had popped out of the Fiat's sunroof, one hand on his hat as always, the other hand aiming his gun. Two gunshots, two of the other cars behind them spinning out and skidding off the road.

Damn, how did the Inspector do that? He had a sense of the gang's timing that Yata would need years to learn. Well—that's what he was here for.

Yata drew his own service weapon, leaned out the window, and took his best shots at the Fiat's tires. He didn't come anywhere close, because the silly little yellow car was bouncing around on the road like it was possessed by Lupin's spirit instead of just being driven by him. Business as usual, again. Only one thing was missing.

Yata barely saw the flicker of vertical motion from the Fiat's sunroof, but it was enough to make him glance up. Yes! Barrelling down out of the sky, robes and black hair flying, was Goemon Ishikawa the Thirteenth. His sword flashed; he landed on the roof of the police car for a light second; his blade went click back into its sheath, so close that Yata could hear it; and he leapt away.

Yata ducked back into the car just as it fell apart, sliced lengthwise down the middle. He was grinning madly, and he saw the same expression on his superior's face as they both removed their seatbelts and sprang out of the wrecked car.

"He's back!" Zenigata said simply.

Yata laughed aloud in relief. The Lupin gang was back in one piece, and he and the Inspector were back on their tails. Another police car screeched to a halt next to them, long enough for them to jump in, and they were off again on the chase.